Addictions: some self-help tips from Carrie

Addictions to substances or behaviours rob us of the energy we need for constructive living so I want to suggest some things to get you started on finding relief from them!

The first thing I strongly recommend with any addiction struggle is finding a local 12-step group and setting an appointment with a compassionate, local counsellor.  Attending groups like Alcoholics Anonymous – AA, Gamblers Anonymous – GA or Narcotics Anonymous – NA while working with a wise counsellor can help encourage you and spur you on to meeting your sobriety goals. If you are still trying to work at it on your own however, there are some interesting tips offered in the ‘Four Steps plus One’ plan highlighted by Dr. Maté in his book: In the Realm of the Hungry Ghosts (Canada: Vintage Canada, Random House Books 2008). His comments rest on earlier writing by Jeffrey M. Schwartz in his book Brain Lock, Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior (New York: Regan Books, 1996)

First step – Re-label: Change the label on the addictive behaviour from a ‘need’ to a ‘thought.’ The addiction feels urgent but call it what it is. As Maté says: “I don’t need to purchase anything or eat anything right now; I’m only having an obsessive thought, a false belief.” The re-labelling doesn't stop the urge but calling it ‘false’ is a first step in finding release.

Second step – Re-attribute: Blame the thoughts on your brain. It’s sent you a false message and don’t blame your ‘self’ for it. The compulsion is part of your brain’s current wiring but it’s not a comment on you as a person. There’s hope in letting something go that comes from outside you. The urge will come back but be weaker when you recognize it as coming from somewhere outside of the real you.

Third step – Re-focus: Buy yourself time. Find a way to get through the next 15 minutes after the urge strikes. Instead of driving to the casino turn on the TV, instead of buying music, get on the exercise bike and give the false thought time to pass. If 15 minutes is too long try for 9! The alternate has to be something you do enjoy but choosing it tells your brain that it does not have to obey the addiction call.

Fourth step – Re-value: Talk to yourself and be creative telling yourself the real value of the addictions. As Maté says -“What has this urge done for me? It has caused me to waste my money, my time, to stuff myself when I’m not hungry, be absent from the ones I love. It’s caused me to betray my true values and disregard my true goals.” You’re merely talking to yourself and the urges will return but you’re starting to ‘get off automatic and shift behavioral gears!’

The ‘Plus One’ step – Re-create: using the four steps brings moments of release and every bit of energy released can be used to create something new, something you really want. In those moments of freedom from the urges think about direction, write down your values, use your creativity and… make something new for yourself. Weed the garden, visit a friend, put out a bird feeder, oil the bike chain. Take action on a new you. Being human means you’ll stumble of course but then it’s time to get busy with the four steps again!
Sincerely Carrie