Christmas is a time where we celebrate Jesus, food, family, friends, gifts, the imaginary chubby red-coated-gift-bearing-chimney-sweeping guy, ... but for many,
it can be a time that seems to emphasize their loneliness, their losses, and their disappointments in life. Perhaps Christmas in your family of origin was full of tension and strife. Maybe life was hard enough day to day without the added stress of a holiday season and conflict only increased and expectations for peace and joy evaporated. Or, you've recently lost someone dear to you, or it's the first Christmas with the family divided by divorce, or the list could be endless. Whatever your pain, watching everyone else around you celebrating and having a 'gay ole time' can turn your Christmas into a downer. You feel depressed and worse than you do
the rest of the year! So just a couple of tips for the holiday blues: First, find someone who is a good listener, a safe friend, and share your feelings and bad memories with them as soon as possible so as to get them said and 'overwith' (okay, I know they're never really over, but when you share the pain, it's like letting some steam out of the boiling pot). Then, make sure you have realistic expectations and don't hope for something impossible. i.e. if your father has been drunk every holiday, or your mother has been controlling and obsessive, chances are likely that this one won't be any different. Next, set good boundaries i.e. if you really don't want to spend long at a relative's house because they are hard to be around, have a plan to exit and somewhere else to go. Finally, spend some time reflecting on the real reason for the season. There wouldn't be Christmas without the One who came as the first and greatest gift, and all the hype of tinsel and mistletoe and bulging creditcard bills is only what our western culture has done to it. Reflect on the Prince of Peace and your heart will change. Remember, you can't change others anyway, so start with yourself and if you want to try a great read that will help you do both, ask for Changes That Heal, (by Henry Cloud) for Christmas.
Joy and peace to you all,
it can be a time that seems to emphasize their loneliness, their losses, and their disappointments in life. Perhaps Christmas in your family of origin was full of tension and strife. Maybe life was hard enough day to day without the added stress of a holiday season and conflict only increased and expectations for peace and joy evaporated. Or, you've recently lost someone dear to you, or it's the first Christmas with the family divided by divorce, or the list could be endless. Whatever your pain, watching everyone else around you celebrating and having a 'gay ole time' can turn your Christmas into a downer. You feel depressed and worse than you do
the rest of the year! So just a couple of tips for the holiday blues: First, find someone who is a good listener, a safe friend, and share your feelings and bad memories with them as soon as possible so as to get them said and 'overwith' (okay, I know they're never really over, but when you share the pain, it's like letting some steam out of the boiling pot). Then, make sure you have realistic expectations and don't hope for something impossible. i.e. if your father has been drunk every holiday, or your mother has been controlling and obsessive, chances are likely that this one won't be any different. Next, set good boundaries i.e. if you really don't want to spend long at a relative's house because they are hard to be around, have a plan to exit and somewhere else to go. Finally, spend some time reflecting on the real reason for the season. There wouldn't be Christmas without the One who came as the first and greatest gift, and all the hype of tinsel and mistletoe and bulging creditcard bills is only what our western culture has done to it. Reflect on the Prince of Peace and your heart will change. Remember, you can't change others anyway, so start with yourself and if you want to try a great read that will help you do both, ask for Changes That Heal, (by Henry Cloud) for Christmas.
Joy and peace to you all,
Sincerely,
Carrie
