Hope everyone has enjoyed some time today hanging out with family. With Valentine's Day last week and Family Day today, thought I would share some thoughts on good communication skills for strengthening these precious relationships! These are just a few tips to get you started:
1) Decide to be slow to speak and quick to listen.
2) Learn to listen 'between the lines' i.e. don't get hung up on a few words that you didn't like hearing, but listen for the 'spirit of the message'.
3) Use your emotions as only one piece of information and learn to express your emotions in words, not in intensity, and never using profanity.
4) Use 'I' statements, i.e. I feel 'x' when you do 'y'....'I feel hurt when you tease me in front of the family'.
5) Avoid using the words 'always' or 'never'.
6) Don't make assumptions that you know what the other person is trying to say...always check out assumptions before responding.
7) Clarify anything that could possibly be taken more than one way.
8) Show respect for your family member by showing that whatever they are trying to say is important to you. i.e. If you don't agree 100% with what you are hearing, rather than dismissing something, try to look for the percentage that you can agree with.
9) Always consider that you could be wrong.
10) Ladies: don't assume that if he doesn't do what you want or need, that he doesn't love you, and when confronting him, always speak the truth from an attitude of love. Men: try to get out of your head (logic) and into your heart...to understand and validate her feelings.
Hope that's a good start. Most of these are simple and straight forward, but not easy to do, so keep on trying!
Sincerely,
Carrie
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